We are going to take a brief intermission from our normal topics today to address some frequently asked questions. I want to start off on a light note before sh$# gets heavy on the blog today. First, I’ve had the opportunity to watch a few performances on the Grammy’s and I am here for Cardi B and Bruno Mar’s collaboration on the song titled “Finesse” because it gave me that old school ‘90s feeling! I’m digging that song called “Better Man” by Little Big Town. I’m sure that many of you have gone through this phase at some point in your life. “Despacito” by Luis Fonsi is rocking and so is “Shape of You” by Sheeran. Now that my listens lately are out of the way, let’s get into this.
Sometimes people feel obligated to be in your business for no particular reason. Occasionally, they are just making conversation and I know it’s harmless, and sometimes they truly believe they are trying to help you with your life. However, it becomes annoying when the same person asks you the same question over and over again, or when a person who barely knows your name parts his or her chapped lips to ask you any of these questions. Let’s discuss these frequently asked questions and some potential responses.
- When are you getting married?
So I guess when you get married, you become part of an elite club with an exclusive pass. Congratulations! You’ve made it! Some people forget the fact that they had to date a few frogs before they found their prince/princess. Furthermore, this may come as a shock to you, but marriage is not everyone’s end goal. Some people see it as reaching the ultimate level of success even when they are miserable. Some believe that flourishing in their career is the ultimate level of success. I know couples who’ve dated for 6 months and have been married for 10 years. On the flip side, I know couples who’ve decided to date for 10 years before they jumped over the broomstick. So for the people who believe that there is a magic timeline, I beg to differ. Your timeline is personal regardless of what others think that you should be doing with your life. The next time someone asks you that question, challenge them by asking, “Why did you get married?” I guarantee that you will get some answers that have nothing to do with love. You may also ask, “Have you checked the divorce statistics lately?” And just FYI, the following women have never married: Oprah Winfrey, Condoleeza Rice, Lauryn Hill, Robin Roberts, Tyra Banks, Emily Bronte, Greta Garbo, and Coco Chanel.
- Why aren’t you married?
Unless you have no common sense, you would realize that this question implies that something is wrong with the person to whom you are eliciting a response from. It sounds more like an insult than a question. The next time someone asks you this question, challenge them by asking, “Why do you exist?”
- When are you going to have children?
As a person who has been blessed to have two children, I would never ask a woman this question for a multitude of reasons. First and foremost, it’s none of my business. What if this woman is unable to have children? You have just triggered feelings that may not be pleasant. She may want children and haven’t found the right partner. Have you ever thought that maybe she doesn’t want to have children at all? That is reality and it is her business. Please stop asking women that question. We have come so far. Instead, try something different. Ask a man that question! The next time a person asks you that question ask them, “Do you get to enjoy life on your terms?”
- Did you gain weight?
This is such a loaded question for women. I guarantee you that you and the person you are asking knows that she gained weight. Does she need you to remind her of this? Probably not. The next time someone asks you this, ask them, “Are you projecting personal issues on me?”
- When are you having more children?
What the hell?! Do you know how much it costs to raise a child in the United States? Give me a break. I knew at age 21 that two children was more than enough. There are some very effective permanent methods of birth control available. I took advantage of it. Having children is a family decision. I’m not sure why it’s relevant to the person who’s asking unless he or she is intending on footing the bill for co-pays, clothing, food, school supplies, childcare, dental work, health insurance, medication, broken items in the house, college tuition, etc. You get the point. Simply ask if they can assist you with all of the above.
- Personal Health Questions
This is crossing the line. Unless you are a doctor, a confidant, a friend, or a family member, you should avoid asking personal health questions. A simple response would be, “Mind your business.”
- How much money do you make?
This is not a popular question within my culture, however, it’s a normal question in other cultures. My response would be, “Bro, do I owe you any money?”
Readers, are there any annoying questions that you are tired of hearing? Please feel free to drop them in the comments. They may show up in a future blog post! I’m out!